Is my tolerance for frustration so low that I can't negotiate with my child through dialogue because it evokes too much anxiety in me?Īm I so stretched and wired that I flip out at the slightest perception of loss of control? After giving to my family all day, do I feel resentful and unleash my emotions at the least provocation?Īm I running on empty right now, so that I can't invoke the presence my child deserves? Is my child thirsty for my attention because I have been preoccupied, so that I only pay attention when they are behaving in a negative way?
Is my child evoking a sense of helplessness and disempowerment in me because of my past conditioning?ĭoes my child sense I'm uncomfortable with conflict and therefore push my buttons even harder?Ĭould it be that I don't believe in myself and therefore don't believe I can garner respect from my child? Is my need for control being triggered, and am I reacting to my child from a triggered state?Īm I having difficult engaging my child with mutuality, preferring "my way or the highway"? Is my child behaving in this manner because I'm unable to be firm and consistent?Īm I being clear that my child's behavior is absolutely not okay with me? Or am I being wishy-washy and sending mixed messages?ĭo I need to reexamine my expectations and recalibrate my understanding of what my child's emotional capacity is right now? When you face difficult moments with your children, instead of becoming reactive, ask yourself the following questions: They have been permitted to violate boundaries without consequences.
This could either be because they are rewarded with negative attention from you or because they haven’t learned to be respectful of another's wishes. Whenever your children act out in a defiant manner, there's always an underlying motivation.
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